Two down, I submit (in the sense of two submissions or a fall)....

Number one son arrived home yesterday. The signs of his renewed habitation were the same as those when number two son re-appeared, i.e. large amounts of washing and loads of boxes, bags and other impedimenta all over the house. Oh and a car that looks like a van until all the seats are re-established in positions that mean human bottoms can sit on them again.

Now I love my sons dearly, but they are large. They consume space, food and electricity in disproportionally large quantities. Just when you think you'll finish that tasty morsel you spotted in the fridge yesterday, you go to find it to find that it has already been scoffed. There is noise late at night. They need to get a job to tire them.

We have just spent a splendid afternoon looking round the open gardens in a village called Idlicote. There were some lovely houses and gardens and the people were very friendly. Not sure I'd want to live there, though. It was an awfully long way to the shops.